Oh, how finding a balance in life is a constant struggle for me, or so it seems... My daughter was 8 weeks old, my husband had just left for Iraq for the second time, and it was time for the last year of nursing school. Thank God, my husband was supportive in that he was ok with me not working. However, I had always been an A student (especially before I had gotten married) and nursing school was tough.
At the beginning of that semester, I was still placing school first. I felt as if I was neglecting my newborn, my husband felt neglected (which was multiplied in his eyes because he was slightly depressed and was gone during the holidays), and my house was sooo dirty. I did not even have time to do the dishes (we didn't have a dishwasher then). I came to school one day and decided I had had enough. I spoke with the head of the nursing dept, and I told her that I just couldn't do it anymore. The people that should be the most important to me were suffering and paying the price of nursing school.
At that moment, I was looking outside myself to solve the dilemma I had created within myself. It took a lot of prayer for me to accept that it was I who needed to change my perspective and set my priorities in line, not necessarily change my circumstances. Luckily we were a close knit bunch in nursing school, and a few of my friends came to my house. One watched Kamryn while the rest of us cleaned my house. I started to put my family first, set aside special time for my husband--to either email him, write to him, or talk to him on the phone if I was lucky. I accepted that I did not necessarily need to make an A, but that I did need to learn so that I could be a competent and good nurse. So, with that in mind, I put homework off until it was time for Kamryn to nap or go to bed. Kamryn and I had a much better time, and were both happier. So, school was put into last place. First was God, then my husband, then my baby girl, and then other family and friends, and last school. Even though I was not working as hard in school, I still got an A. My husband was happy, and my baby and I got to spend quality time.
It is still sometimes easy for me to fall back into a messed up priority life, but I frequently evaluate myself and my priorities. I know which order is important to me and my family, and I do my best to maintain them all in the right place. I have increased my number of activities, including ballet, work and school, and preparing for a new baby, so it is vital that I maintain the appropriate energy expenditure for work and school so that I do not neglect the things that are more important--my God and my family.
So, the gist of it is, deciding on your priorities is vital to maintaining balance in life. My priorities depend on where I get my identity--I am a child of God, and a wife and mother. Everything else is just an extracurricular activity and oh so temporary.
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2 comments:
I absolutely loved your blog. It is great to hear another mother's perspective and that I am not the only one who thinks she has to get the A's, be wondermom, and wonderwife. When we set our expectations too high and in the wrong spot, we are destined for failure. It is great to hear a Christian perspective. If we set our eyes on him, then everything else seems to work itself out. Even though I know this, your blog reconfirms that for me.
Thanks,
Jenn
I like your comments in this blog. I am not a mother yet but I admire you by the strugle and effort that you are putting into your live as a student, mother and a husband. I can emagine how hard and difficult these tasks are but I am glad to hear how you are handling your life. I wish you all the best in your studies as you have said you do not have to get A but I belive in you that you are doing well.
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