#15: Most Impactful

There was no particular topic or subject matter that was necessarily impactful--I found all interesting, though. The thing that was most impactful was the subject matter presented in a way that made me think of it in terms of my life. This course really made me reflect upon myself and what I am doing for my health--in every area. I have evaluated my physical health, my sexual health, my emotional health, etc. I have once again had to look at my priorities. To me, this was a class full of life lessons. It was nice to see others' points of view--made me see how someone else may deal with something. That aspect of the course was most impactful. I really enjoyed this uncommon approach to teaching.

#14: Finding a balance

Oh, how finding a balance in life is a constant struggle for me, or so it seems... My daughter was 8 weeks old, my husband had just left for Iraq for the second time, and it was time for the last year of nursing school. Thank God, my husband was supportive in that he was ok with me not working. However, I had always been an A student (especially before I had gotten married) and nursing school was tough.

At the beginning of that semester, I was still placing school first. I felt as if I was neglecting my newborn, my husband felt neglected (which was multiplied in his eyes because he was slightly depressed and was gone during the holidays), and my house was sooo dirty. I did not even have time to do the dishes (we didn't have a dishwasher then). I came to school one day and decided I had had enough. I spoke with the head of the nursing dept, and I told her that I just couldn't do it anymore. The people that should be the most important to me were suffering and paying the price of nursing school.

At that moment, I was looking outside myself to solve the dilemma I had created within myself. It took a lot of prayer for me to accept that it was I who needed to change my perspective and set my priorities in line, not necessarily change my circumstances. Luckily we were a close knit bunch in nursing school, and a few of my friends came to my house. One watched Kamryn while the rest of us cleaned my house. I started to put my family first, set aside special time for my husband--to either email him, write to him, or talk to him on the phone if I was lucky. I accepted that I did not necessarily need to make an A, but that I did need to learn so that I could be a competent and good nurse. So, with that in mind, I put homework off until it was time for Kamryn to nap or go to bed. Kamryn and I had a much better time, and were both happier. So, school was put into last place. First was God, then my husband, then my baby girl, and then other family and friends, and last school. Even though I was not working as hard in school, I still got an A. My husband was happy, and my baby and I got to spend quality time.

It is still sometimes easy for me to fall back into a messed up priority life, but I frequently evaluate myself and my priorities. I know which order is important to me and my family, and I do my best to maintain them all in the right place. I have increased my number of activities, including ballet, work and school, and preparing for a new baby, so it is vital that I maintain the appropriate energy expenditure for work and school so that I do not neglect the things that are more important--my God and my family.

So, the gist of it is, deciding on your priorities is vital to maintaining balance in life. My priorities depend on where I get my identity--I am a child of God, and a wife and mother. Everything else is just an extracurricular activity and oh so temporary.

#13: An Addict

One of my coworkers, a RN, is a recovering alcohol addict. According to the TX BNE, she had a restriction on her license and could not handle narcotic medications for a certain length of time. At first I was afraid to ask her why she could never count the narcotics, and why she always had a medication nurse on her shift (despite the staffing grid), until I worked with her for a weekend. I had just assumed that she must have been abusing narcotics. Well, I asked her, politely, and she was not fearful of telling me her reasons. She did not boast or brag, she told me in a very appropriate way that she struggles with alcoholism, had been sober for a long time, relapsed, and is now sober again. She was facing the consequences of her personal choices in her professional life. She is a member of AA, and uses the 12 steps daily. For her to admit her faults, and her addiction, to me--a coworker--who really did not need to know, and discuss it openly created a new respect for her within me. To be be able to admit when you are wrong, admit that you may fail, shows that you have insight, that you are willing to look at yourself in the mirror and take the next step to do something about it.

Working in the mental health field, I see a lot of patients who self medicate with drugs/alcohol/self harm. They are all addicted either psychologically or physically. When they are in denial of their problem, they make no steps to correct the situation, and they continue in their self-destructive behavior. The ones who admit that they have a problem, may still relapse--frequently having a lot of guilt and a sense of failure associated with it--but they are trying to do something about it. That takes strength, especially since there is something painful behind their reasons for self-medicating. They not only struggle against the addiction itself, but against their fears and their pain.

#12 Mental Health Stigma

What can be done to reduce the stigma and shame surrounding mental illness? Some people might think that there is no stigma, but in reality it is still pervasive. I work as a RN at a mental health and chemical dependency hospital. I have seen patients' whose families turn their back on them because they are "crazy." There have been patients who are afraid to call their friends using the hospital phone because the person on the other end has caller ID and would know. Patients are sometimes afraid of letting their boss know that the reason they were out of work was because of a mental illness, and they might lose their job. Some patients are going through a divorce, and are afraid the custody of their children will be in jeopardy if the spouse or ex-spouse finds out and uses it as ammunition. It is amazing how precious the HIPPA act is in this field. There are even others afraid to use the proper terms for their disease, and choose to instead talk about it in terms of their "nerves" are acting up. HCP must be very careful with diagnosing young children due to labeling that will occur and negatively affect that child. Patients have a hard time taking medication for a mental illness, even for mental illnesses with a biological etiology, because they think that it is not really real, or that if they take the medication they are admitting to the world that they are "screwed up." Most of the people in the hospital have very traumatic pasts, poor support systems, and poor coping skills. They become hopeless. Some even use their diagnosis as an excuse for inappropriate behavior.

So, the stigma is seen within the patient, within the mental health and medical health system, and in society in general. I think the most effective way for the stigma and shame to be reduced is by education, of not hiding the mental illnesses... educating society about the reality of the illnesses, the reasons for them, and the effects they have on the individual and society... by showing the necessity of recognizing the symptoms, and searching out treatment/support in order to reduce the adverse effects.

#11: Our future

Would I live differently if I always remembered my future in the back of my mind? Would I allow my future to direct the events and my activities in my life in the here and now? Sure, I would have a different perspective on life. I would remember to eat healthy and exercise, always remembering the impact it will have on my future health. I would remember that my decisions now may change my future path. I would also remember that my stressful life always needs a stress relief outlet.

You know, I do participate in healthy behaviors. I eat right, and exercise for the most part. I do not always de-stress well enough due to the schedule I chose and the activities I chose to participate in. However, the reason that I do any of the healthy behaviors is because I want to live a long and healthy life--I am looking towards my future.

So, my conclusion is that if we keep in mind that our attitudes and actions today will affect our future, but that today is now yesterday and that each day is a new day, then we would chose healthier behaviors and lifestyles.

#10: Academia's responsibility?

I think that academic institutions, though not required, can play a large role in promoting disease prevention for women in at least 2 ways. For one, the instructors can incorporate disease prevention education into their syllabi's and tailor it according to the subject. Also, they can hold presentations regarding the the diseases and how to prevent them. Other than presenting the information to the women in that community, academic institutions can help to discover more ways of disease prevention by participating in research and then disseminating the information in an easy to understand format. The student body can become active in providing information to the surrounding community by promoting or providing health fairs.

#8: Forever Young

Why do we try to stay "looking young" for as long as possible? Why are we so concerned with the signs of aging: getting grey hair, wrinkles, loose skin, etc?

Our society has equated youthfulness with beauty and sexiness. As women (and even men), we try to uphold that image of youthfulness and sexiness. For some reason, we have decided that soft, sagging breasts are imperfect distorting our image. Gray hair and wrinkles are reminders that we are aging... that the inevitable is coming. We think firm curvy bodies are the ideal which we must all strive for. If only we were cookie cutter people. (Though I think that the ideal image is broadening to incorporate some imperfections.)

Maybe we do not respect the elderly in our society... Maybe we have gone as far to say that the elderly are useless to the rest of society, that they are a burden. With a negative outlook such as this, it would make it an easy jump that aging is something we do not want to happen to us. So, any sign of aging would be undesirable. Something that is undesirable is imperfect, so we must try to hinder it...

I am not sure if it just a plain desire to be sexually attractive, or if the desire to look young goes much deeper into how we think about the entire aging process and its implications. But, the shunning of aging is doing a disservice to us as a society. Elderly people have led productive lives, have seen many things, gained wisdom that can be passed on to younger generations; they can be mentors. Sadly, elderly people are all too often stripped of their dignity and labeled a burden.